Without Player Two, Do I Automatically Win... Or Just Lose?

I've been asked lately if I want to hang out, and, the reason to hang out involves herbal substances.
Now, I mean, I do them occasionally, and thought if I had more, maybe I'd want to be high a bit more. But, truth is, what is the fun in being high alone? It's not like the feeling alone is anything special, without anyone to enjoy it with, or activities to take part in. I just, I've started to get more of a grasp on why I do things, and my will to say no has me really analyzing what I do.
If I were to hang out with someone, and get high, then go our separate ways, I just don't see the point. To me, marijuana is a secondary social element, something that, when done with friends, can help make things fun, almost a conversation starter, an accelerant. Sure, when I'm high I tend to go on wild tangents, and my seemingly lost mind can make for some funny moments, but if there aren't any ears to hear said tangents, it all just doesn't seem to be that enjoyable.
When I'm high, I tend to be more in touch with my emotions, a bit more free with my speech, and a tad bit well, more upbeat. I talk quite a bit more, despite the lack of cohesion my thoughts may have, and find getting ideas out easier than usual. It's almost like sending an alert to my mind to get all the stuff in there, all the rambles, out. Or at least organized. A spring cleaning of sorts. And I like that. I like getting lost in my mind, and living life on the lighter side. Everything seems to be softened, and even when walking in reality, it's almost like a world I'm not actually present in. In a strange way, I feel like I have more control, more precision, when I put my scrambled mind to it, and in that sense, I could liken it to a third person perspective in a virtual world.
And I just don't like playing in an empty world.

Runaways

Sometimes life gets to be too much. And sometimes you just wish you could go.
Sometimes is more often than not, and lately, it's been so often, and well. not. I want to go. I want her, I want space, time, freedom. To leave behind all of life's stresses, to adventure where there are no worries, where time isn't a constraint, and where the constant battles to keep your sanity are already won. Where insanity and reality aren't two things, but one. A romanticized version of a demonic possession. Two people, stuck together. Traveling together. Possessed by love, and driven by hope. Hope that life will get better, get easier, that the simple times will come back, and everything that we love will be the love we have in everything. Two people, set out to face the world, with nothing but an bond based in truth, in love; in happiness.
I want this, and I want to make it happen. To be with her, away from the life we live, the life we come in and out of with feelings mixed each day. I just want us. No restrictions. No limits. Nothing to stop us from living, and nobody to care what we do.

Home isn't where you grew up. It's not a place you were born into. Home is where you find yourself when you smile without a reason. When everything feels right, and you just know you're in the right spot. Home is where comfort and happiness collide. And home just doesn't feel like home, without you.