Summer

A day

Split

Torn into pieces,
Fragments of time.
The sun sets beneath
The stars align.

Warmth strikes
A cold avenue lit

By street lights and cars
The colors they emit,
That pierce through the dark

And in our eyes
Light up the endless

Summer

Alive.

Mind Ramble: The Great Stall

There's something about the world we live in, about the way we go about building this civilization, that bothers me. We are all so obsessed with money, with power, and the notion that having one, and thus the other, will put us on top of some podium, and somehow solidify ourselves as number one.

Number one what? Asshole? Yeah, I get that you can ease into a fairly comfortable life through money, and yes, it will give you some amount of power. If you have what people want, they will tend to obey you, because they feel lesser. But back to the idea that you'd be on top. Why bother? Corporations and world leaders today are always wanting more, it's always a constant power struggle. We fight over resources, and kill because we aren't getting our way. Disagreements over the most petty things cause the biggest turmoil, and it's in that that I get frustrated. We are all getting in fits over the most pointless problems, created out of greed, and fostered by the notion that more is better.

Why are we even doing this? All this conflict doesn't get us anywhere. We expend people and huge amounts of money on military growth, trying to protect what is ours, all the while fucking with this planet like it's a game that will be refreshed when we're done with it. We fight towards this Westernized idea that we have something to gain by being on top, and the constant competition is necessary to ensure our place as the biggest douches on the planet.

What is the goal we are going for? We obviously don't have one. We should be trying to better ourselves as a species, to maximize what we can gain from this planet, and work together to solve the problems at hand in the world. Not the petty economic ones, the greed based ones that are largely irrelevant to our basic survival and growth. No, the ones that through this greed, are being taken away from a large population.

The basics. The food. The healthcare. The housing. The education. We spend so much time with money allocated for military spending so we can fight wars we don't have to bother with and spark fires in countries we shouldn't be worrying about.
We should be looking at this in steps. And until the first is completed, we shouldn't move on.
Does everyone have access to food, and if not, can they be given that access? Are we sustaining a population, or able to, with what is on this planet? We definitely have enough to go around, so why is this notion, again that power and greed make us better, able to stop that goal?
We have the space, albeit only for a short time, to contain everyone. To give everyone shelter. That shouldn't be something that we have to work for. Basic shelter should be a right that everyone has.

After that comes the problems of sustaining the planet we live on. Being able to keep those basic needs met, and then to be able to work together to solve the other problems we may have. Not anything based in politics, we have to think of this planet as a whole. We are one species. We should live like one. Not cut each other down.

Why is it that we don't have more emphasis put into exploring this planet. Learning everything we can about it, and keeping it in top shape so that we can continue to live, and solidify the base on which we live? We put so much into areas that are really childish when you look at the bigger picture.

And, to sum this up in sorts, I guess what I'm getting at is that our civilization will never be any more than it currently is, if we keep this mindset that more is better, and money = power.

We should be allocating money to the creative. The risk takers. The people willing to push the boundaries to help make our species the best it can be.

Innocence Isn't Always What It Seems

You've got everyone fooled,
Behind that innocent smile.
They believe your lies,
Your coverups, disguised.

Well fuck you.

Truth only lies in what you don't say;
In words you hide, people you play.
Pawns in a game;
Just stop,
You're going to lose anyway.

Chess Is A Wonderful Game

Condescension an extension,    
Of hopes to crush my dreams.
With never ending consequences,
For the former condescension;
You live a life forever doomed.

I want to fucking cut your throat,
With lies as sharp as knives;
Pierce the skin that hides your soul,
A mess of gutless pride.

Take me,
A bitch for use,
And cut me,
For all to see.
Expose your inner demons;
Let loose on this reality.

You fucking cunt.

Without Player Two, Do I Automatically Win... Or Just Lose?

I've been asked lately if I want to hang out, and, the reason to hang out involves herbal substances.
Now, I mean, I do them occasionally, and thought if I had more, maybe I'd want to be high a bit more. But, truth is, what is the fun in being high alone? It's not like the feeling alone is anything special, without anyone to enjoy it with, or activities to take part in. I just, I've started to get more of a grasp on why I do things, and my will to say no has me really analyzing what I do.
If I were to hang out with someone, and get high, then go our separate ways, I just don't see the point. To me, marijuana is a secondary social element, something that, when done with friends, can help make things fun, almost a conversation starter, an accelerant. Sure, when I'm high I tend to go on wild tangents, and my seemingly lost mind can make for some funny moments, but if there aren't any ears to hear said tangents, it all just doesn't seem to be that enjoyable.
When I'm high, I tend to be more in touch with my emotions, a bit more free with my speech, and a tad bit well, more upbeat. I talk quite a bit more, despite the lack of cohesion my thoughts may have, and find getting ideas out easier than usual. It's almost like sending an alert to my mind to get all the stuff in there, all the rambles, out. Or at least organized. A spring cleaning of sorts. And I like that. I like getting lost in my mind, and living life on the lighter side. Everything seems to be softened, and even when walking in reality, it's almost like a world I'm not actually present in. In a strange way, I feel like I have more control, more precision, when I put my scrambled mind to it, and in that sense, I could liken it to a third person perspective in a virtual world.
And I just don't like playing in an empty world.

Runaways

Sometimes life gets to be too much. And sometimes you just wish you could go.
Sometimes is more often than not, and lately, it's been so often, and well. not. I want to go. I want her, I want space, time, freedom. To leave behind all of life's stresses, to adventure where there are no worries, where time isn't a constraint, and where the constant battles to keep your sanity are already won. Where insanity and reality aren't two things, but one. A romanticized version of a demonic possession. Two people, stuck together. Traveling together. Possessed by love, and driven by hope. Hope that life will get better, get easier, that the simple times will come back, and everything that we love will be the love we have in everything. Two people, set out to face the world, with nothing but an bond based in truth, in love; in happiness.
I want this, and I want to make it happen. To be with her, away from the life we live, the life we come in and out of with feelings mixed each day. I just want us. No restrictions. No limits. Nothing to stop us from living, and nobody to care what we do.

Home isn't where you grew up. It's not a place you were born into. Home is where you find yourself when you smile without a reason. When everything feels right, and you just know you're in the right spot. Home is where comfort and happiness collide. And home just doesn't feel like home, without you.

Eclipsing The Mind: A Hunt For The Subconscious Reality

There is something fascinating about being disconnected from your being. The idea that we are as humans, not just a conscious entity. That there is more that we can tap into. It's what gives psychedelics their lure. What brings me to spend nights watching videos theorizing about space, about life out there, about conspiracies and ways to unlock our inner being. 

At least I think it is. Maybe I'm just weird.